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3 Ways to Fail Forward

Tom Crandall • May 01, 2020

3 Ways to Fail Forward

Failure has been a part of my life since I can remember. From childhood attitudes to leadership blunders; I’ve had my fair share. The truth is we all fail; it’s what we do with it that determines whether we flourish or get stuck. 

Can you identify?

Here is a STORY that will encourage you:

During a youth service years ago, the worship team was changing songs. The room had been engaged and alive until Mari, our worship leader, started talking to another team member for longer than normal, putting worship on pause. I could feel people disengaging from worship as they waited for the next song to begin.

After thirty seconds, I walked on stage and said to her, “you are quenching the Spirit of God.” I walked back to the front row, with a familiar sense in the pit of my stomach that I just screwed up in a huge way! This unwarranted sharp rebuke destroyed her—I was the one who had just quenched the Spirit of God, not her. 

Speaking, before seeking to understand, was a massive failure in my leadership that created a colossal mess.

My actions crushed a spiritual daughter that was doing her best and needed my help. 

Afterward, I pulled Mari aside and groveled in repentance attempting to clean up my mess, remove the sting of my failure, and restore trust. 

I soon discovered that her teammate couldn’t hear the tone to sing the next song. They needed help from their leader, not crushed by him.

Here is what I learned from my failure:
  • Kids disengaging for a minute is not a big deal.
  • I just made a gigantic mess and broke trust with someone very special to me. 
  • My lack of self-control made me a scary, unpredictable leader that would be hard for anyone to serve if I didn’t change.
  • I needed to seek to understand what’s going on before acting next time.
  • How I clean up this mess determines whether I can be trusted more, or less, from this moment on.

Many times we look at leaders and think they have it all together, but the truth is every leader has failed forward into destiny.


Here are 3 keys to failing forward: 


1. Failure is only fatal if you quit.


Shame is a nasty voice that wants you to hide and act like nothing bad happened. If your identity is wrapped up in what you do, you can’t handle it if you make a mistake. People that live this way will have a string of broken relationships in their wake, and never build anything lasting.

When you quit, it doesn’t mean you won't face your failure. God, in His love and mercy will always give you another opportunity to face yourself again. You can run, but you can’t hide. This is for you good so you keep growing.

You have to determine that no matter what you feel, or how bad you want to run Jesus is Lord, not my failure, feelings, or the opinions of others. I am staying right here to learn from this moment. 

You are not a quitter. 


Action step:
  • Get vulnerable with someone you trust to help you.
  • Make the decision to not run from this moment.
  • Sit with the Holy Spirit and invite Him to show you how he feels about you in this moment.

Declarations for moments of failure:
  • God is using this moment to show me his grace.
  • I will become a better person through this.
  • Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."
  • My worst failure can’t separate me from the love of God. 
  • Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves such as have a contrite spirit."

Click here to read my blog 5 things I do when I feel like quitting. 


2. What you do with failure determines whether you
 grow or get stuck.


There are only two heart choices you have when you fail; pride or humility.

James 4:6 says, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Life gets heavy when you cast blame, run, or refuse to own your failure because God resists pride. Even when King David failed in his worst moment, he cried out to God in his agony and the Lord met him there. God is gracious to the humble. 

It’s that simple. 

Often, failure creates a mess that needs to be cleaned up.

As a leader, it's challenging to build with someone who refuses to own a mess, because trust has been compromised.

I can’t build a relationship with someone who won't own their decisions because it becomes difficult to trust them.

Taking personal responsibility for failure is how you grow and become trustworthy.


Click here for a Navy Seal’s compelling story on how he handled his own failure leading troops in war.


Action Step:
  • Sit with the Holy Spirit and ask what attitudes and actions you need to own?
  • What beliefs or lies are holding you back from owning it in the middle of failure.
  • Decide to take responsibility, because that’s the person you are choosing to be whether people forgive you or not.
  • Who do you need to talk to and own your mess with? 
  • Be sure to humble yourself before God, then humble yourself to people. This is how you clean up your failure with more than words. When your spirit is right, it’s felt by the people you are owning it with.

Here is how you clean up your mess (adjust to fit your circumstance):

  • I was wrong when I said ____, please forgive me for the way I affected you. I will do my best to never let this happen again.
  • My attitude was off when I talked to you, please forgive me for the way I affected you. I will bring my best next time.
  • I apologize for not keeping my word to you. I know that broke trust. I let myself go and didn’t own it, please forgive me. I will do my best to keep my word next time.

Note: Once you’ve cleaned up your mess, you are now working to restore trust. You have an opportunity to become either more trustworthy, or not, based upon how you handle life from here.


Declarations for moments of failure:
  • Thank you God that you are meeting me here in this challenge.
  • I am not defined by this moment—but by your grace to move forward.
  • God is building something beautiful in me.
  • God is making me a trustworthy person through this.


  3. God will cover, lead, and define you in the middle of failure. 


  • God will COVER you.

He is a Father that leads you from the inside-out. The Holy Spirit guides you into what feels right, and true. 

If my kids make a mess, I don’t help them grow by doing everything for them. They have to own it. My goal is to connect with their heart, ask them what they are learning, and help them move forward with the next step. 

I never use shame to manipulate them—that’s counterproductive to their growth. Grace empowers us to change. 

Psalm 91:4
He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge

  • God will LEAD you.

As a Father, He will lead you through. I would NEVER abandon one of my kids in failure, no matter what they did! God is the same way!


  • God will DEFINE you.

Often in failure, you get afraid that you’re beyond repair and you’ve gone too far. These familiar lies have to be confronted with the truth of who Jesus is—and the Lord will define you.

When Peter denied Christ, Jesus pursued him—restored him—then established him as a leader, and an Apostle over what Jesus had just shed His blood for.

That is the nature of God.

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.


Action Step:
  • Hold your failure in your hands, close your eyes—offer it to God, and ask him: “Lord is this mess bigger than you?” “Does your blood cover this as well?” “Are you big enough to help me?” 
  • Sit with the Holy Spirit and ask him how the Father sees you at this moment.
  • Do you view God as distant and angry, or like a close loving Father?
  • Who comes to mind that can pray for you like a Father?
  • What image of God do you need to let go of?

Declarations for moments of failure:
  • God said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” in Hebrews 13:5
  • The Father is covering me and leading me at this moment.
  • He is forgiving and gracious and holds the final word about my life.
  • I am not defined by my worst moment, but by what God says about me.
  • I am forgiven, loved, and being empowered to earn trust back.

POST INDEX: 
By Tom Crandall 12 Apr, 2021
Can you imagine receiving a gift on Christmas—adoring the box and beautiful bow, yet never opening the gift? It’s possible to be in church for a lifetime and not receive the treasures of what’s been paid for. In the past few months I have found myself in a deep dive in understanding the simple message of the gospel. The Spirit of God has been highlighting different aspects of the cross, the blood of Jesus and the new nature that we have received as a result of it. I want to share 3 truths with you that have started to revolutionize my life in recent times: 1. Righteousness is a gift from God that can’t be earned—it must be received by faith. Righteousness means right standing with God—a position that no man can earn. The law reveals God’s holy nature, and man’s sinfulness. The law is good, and gives us the definition of sin, but can’t give life to anyone. Instead, it leaves us in a place of needing forgiveness and grace. It’s like a doctor that is able to diagnose a disease but unable to offer a cure. Jesus is the cure for the disease of sin and sickness that we all need. Many Christians try to earn their right standing before God with their good deeds and noble offerings, not realizing that Jesus has already paved the way for them. Their efforts are in vain and soon enough they burn out and wonder why they are not sensing God’s approval on their life. Self righteousness just leads to more self and focusing on sin management as the barometer for the righteousness you carry—a religious treadmill that never stops. We don’t live for righteousness, we live from it! In case you don’t have a relationship with God yet, you can click HERE to read my blog on “How to start a relationship with God”. If you are a child of God, you are righteous not because of what you do, but because of what Jesus has done for you on the cross. Meditate on these verses: 2 Corinthians 5:21 “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” Romans 5:17 “For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.” Romans 5:1 “Therefore having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 5:20 “Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more,” Peace is the result of trusting that God has made you righteous before you feel it, see it, or do anything to prove it. Focusing on our shortcomings and failures will never set us free, but only perpetuate more bondage. Looking to Jesus (John 3:14-16) is how we get free and receive the gift of righteousness. Activation: Ask yourself: Is there anything you need to surrender to Jesus? Take a few minutes to let the blood of Jesus wash you from the inside out. Spend some time meditating on the fact that you are already fully righteous before God, because of Jesus’ death and resurrection. If you are righteous in nature, how do you believe God sees you? Good or bad? Declaration: “Jesus, you are Lord of my life. Thank you that your blood was enough to make me fully right with you.” “I am standing pure and righteous before the throne of God right now, not because of what I did but because of what Jesus has done!” “I receive your peace you paid for in every area of my life.” 2. Faith in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus has brought us into full union with Christ. Romans 6:4–5: “Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been UNITED together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection,” United means to identify with, to be like, to be one with. We are in union, oneness with Christ! Our old sinful nature is nailed to the cross, buried in the grave and we are resurrected with Jesus—alive in Him! Just as a man and a woman getting married die to the single life and become one with their spouse, so we die to our old, sinful life and become one in spirit with Jesus. Ephesians 2:6 (NLT): “For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus.” Romans 6:11 “Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Activation: Become aware of your union with Christ and take time to thank Him for being closer than the skin on your bones. See all temptation and sin as something outside of you. It is not who you are. Meditate on the reality that God lives in you on your best and worst day—He promised He would never leave you. Declaration: "I am hidden with Christ in God." "I have the mind of Christ." "I am one with Christ." “I am no longer separated from God. Every feeling of loneliness is a mere illusion, because I know that I am one with Christ in my spirit man!” 3. Our identity in Christ becomes a reality as we renew our minds. Oftentimes life happens and we don’t feel saved, at peace, or free. But God and His Word never change—we can come to Him just as we are at any time, in any situation, and He will receive us and transform us. It is so important to not interpret God’s word through the lens of our experience, but instead interpret our experiences through the lens of God’s Word. Your perception might be wrong, but His word never changes or fails. Romans 12:2 (NIV84): “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Ephesians 4:22–24 (NIV): “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Galatians 5:24 (Passion Translation) “Keep in mind that we who belong to Jesus, the Anointed One, have already experienced crucifixion. For everything connected with our self-life was put to death on the cross and crucified with Messiah.” HERE is a blog called “Receiving Righteousness” that I believe will help you in the process of growing in your identity. The renewal of the mind happens as our faith aligns with Him by doing the following: Feasting on His Word Reviewing testimonies of what God has done Praise and worship Prayer Meditation Declaration Activation: Give God thanks for what He has accomplished on the cross for you. How is the Holy Spirit leading you to renew your mind with what Jesus has accomplished for you? Take time to receive the love of God, His grace, and His perception of you. Declaration: “My mind is continuously being renewed by the Word of God, and as a result my life is continuously growing to look more like Christ!” "I am a new creation." "I am covered by mercy, and empowered by grace to live bold in Christ!"
By Tom Crandall 05 Feb, 2021
People are convinced that God is angry, disappointed, punishing and judgmental. Let me assure you, the Bible proves, that is not the nature of God. Contrary to the world’s opinion God is actually holy, righteous, just and also loving, merciful, gracious, kind, forgiving and empowering. How can you know what God, the Father really looks like? By looking at Jesus! Jesus dealt with our inability to know the nature of God. He Himself said, “If you have seen me, you have seen the Father.” God looks like Jesus, because while Jesus was fully man, He was also fully God. Christ was not afraid of sinners, He was their friend. He never gave anyone an excuse as to why they cannot be healed, instead He healed everyone who was sick. Wherever He went, he brought freedom and deliverance to those who were bound. The life of Jesus points us to this truth: A good Father, like God will do anything for his kids, even if it means laying down his own life for their good. He gave up His only Son to give humanity true freedom. Many have not encountered a father like this, which is exactly why Jesus came; to reveal a heavenly Father who is better than anything we could imagine. He was a physical example of the love that God has for us. I want to encourage you today: No matter how hopeless you feel right now, this amazing Father loves you, and is right there with you to set you free! Meditate on Jesus and you’ll find the Father: Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” -John 14:12 Jesus covered sinners. Jesus healed the sick. Jesus accepted the rejected. Jesus set the oppressed free. Jesus forgave sin. Jesus removed shame. Jesus listened to people. Jesus gave hope to the hopeless. Jesus protected the vulnerable. Jesus comforted the broken-hearted. Jesus brought laughter and joy. Jesus brought peace to turmoil. Jesus revealed truth in the midst of lies. Jesus did miracles to provide for others. Jesus demonstrated the reality of another world. Jesus laid down His life so others could live. Jesus empowers us to live like Him. Everything Jesus modeled was a good Father. Activation: Get comfortable and take 3 minutes to imagine what the Father is like. Think about how He revealed Himself through Jesus. Are there any lies that you have believed about the nature of Father God? Write them down and leave them at the foot of the cross. Declaration: “I know that the Father loves me, because Jesus demonstrated it by dying on the cross!” “The Father’s embrace is the safest place in the world for me! I will not be afraid of punishment when I come to God, because I know Jesus has paid for all my mistakes."
By Tom Crandall 05 Feb, 2021
Over the past months I have been pondering on the subject of freedom. In today’s fast world we are inundated with options but do our choices produce real freedom? The world thinks freedom is the ability to do, say and think whatever you want, but that couldn’t be further from the truth! Living in lawlessness will make your soul sick, it will leave you asking “Isn’t there more to live for?” We all know of people who seemingly have it all. They are searching for freedom in money, friends, sex and success but when their head hits the pillow at night, they are left empty on the inside. True freedom is found in knowing God. We are designed to live in friendship with a Father who loves us. Never do I feel so free as when I experience the presence of God. Can you relate? That’s because we are made for Him. Jesus did not just give you a “get out of hell free” card, He paid in blood for you to live a life of freedom here on earth! “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free!” -Galatians 5:1 If you received Jesus’ gift of salvation you can experience this freedom today, because Jesus paid for it. You have free access to the Source of everlasting freedom, love, joy and peace-found in Christ alone. Activation: Say this with me: Father, here I am! I know that I am precious to you. Thank you for loving me today.” Now, just sit still for a moment. Do you feel Him loving you? Take a few minutes to identify areas of your life where you are not experiencing this freedom yet, areas where you feel bound. Then take time to lay them down before the throne and listen to what God is saying to you about how He wants to change your life. Declaration: “I was designed for freedom in Christ, not for bondage!” “I don’t have to earn freedom, Jesus already paid for it on the cross! I simply get to receive it as a gift by entering His presence.”
Vote 2020
By Tom Crandall 29 Oct, 2020
I love history. Everything we want to learn for our future is found in our past. Love, fear, courage, cowardice, sacrifice, selfishness, hate, kindness, poverty and prosperity—the fingerprints of God and man can be witnessed throughout the halls of our past.
Receiving righteousness is about stepping into your new identity in Christ
By Tom Crandall 28 Sep, 2020
Have you ever felt like something was missing from your life? Like something was wrong and you just couldn’t figure it out? You’ve been faithful in church attendance, and trying to be a good person yet you can’t shake this gnawing feeling that something is missing—or worse, wrong. We were designed for righteousness—to be just—in right standing with God, and when we aren’t something feels off. This “off” feeling isn’t meant to condemn us, but lead us to righteousness. I have been there—and I have good news for you!
We were born to live with victorious courage yet many believers are living beneath their design.
By Tom Crandall 16 May, 2020
Living encouraged has more to do with how we steward our internal world than external circumstances. The Kingdom of God is a limitless fountain we can access to give endless encouragement at all times. God is our source of encouragement.
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